Lately I’ve been noticing a pattern with the people I’ve been interacting with. It seems as though they always come to me to vent or seek solace when times are tough, yet forget my existence when skies clear. I’d honestly rather be the ill-weather friend than the other counter-part. I have my fair share of problems too, but I chose to deal with them on my own. In a way, seeing them unravel before my eyes puts things in perspective. Maybe people aren’t as figured out as they seem to be. From the different individuals I’ve encountered, I saw a pattern of saying something and acting otherwise. Regardless of how much they say they know themselves and what they want or don’t want, they still face dilemmas on decision making. When faced with the reality of the situation, people inherently listen to their desires rather than follow through with their testimonies.
I figured that if you truly know yourself, and your eyes are clear from whatever might obscure your view from your goals and aspirations, then decision making comes easy. It took me a while to figure out what I want to be in life, but now that its been realized I know the steps to take to get there. I spent a while in darkness trying to adamantly hold on to a crumbling dream. However, once I became honest about who I really am, I realized that it really wasn’t the right trajectory to follow in order to be happy. I’m cleaning up my life from whatever veils my view of reaching my goals.
It’s nice to know that I’m stable enough for other people to confide in. Sometimes I just wish they took a step back and realize that they already know the answers they’re seeking. It’s just hard to confront the truth that sometimes sacrifices have to be made, and some detours have to be taken in order to get where we need to be. We ask other people questions to justify our actions and our gut instincts. Their affirmations rationalizes our irrational suspicions. It takes a real friend to stop the cycle of paranoia and call out the bullshit. I’ve been helped by a real friend that did that for me, and I can truly say that I am irrevocably changed by his impact in my life. Now its time to pay it forward.